i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize