i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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