woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
