seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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