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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them

  (514): View more from Quebec

  the remaining ten - you weren't in

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Still breathing?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  What.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin

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