hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i think my cat just said my name.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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