How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm too high and old for this...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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