Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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