i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I deserve this hangover.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
