Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
