Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
