so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
