oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
