Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
