would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
