I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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