Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize