I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
