Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
