Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
