brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
