I smell stomach acid.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize