She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
