At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
