This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
