Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
