Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
