But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
