apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
