did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
