Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
