fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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