I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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