what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
