Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
where does the pee come out of this thing
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
