a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
