my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize