We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
