I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hippo gnu deer
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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