Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
