Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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