i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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