Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
