According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
