I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize