Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
