My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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