Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How does one acquire holy water?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
