go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You are the jesus of drinking
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
