so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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