It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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