Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
