ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
