The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
