I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
