More tranny stories later!
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
