it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
