Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
