Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
