its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
