im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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