Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
