I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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