Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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