i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
