Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
