He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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