Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
pray to the hookup gods
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
