Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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