we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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