I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
