i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
