did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
