there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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