I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
