i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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